Strange...

Everything is different, even if it's all the same...
I've moved now, back to my old town, the one I used to live in the last years of my active life (active as an addict, that is.... I even live in the same area as I did the few months before I was admitted to the forced rehab... Just a couple of blocks way.
And everything is the same but somehow it feels strangely different, because I'm different.
My head's clear and I see things I didn't see before, at least I never saw them as other people do... Thing is, I still miss seeing things my way... I miss a lot of things about that life I used to live, and some of those things is just sick! But I can't help it... They say I'm mourning.
Also, I'm scared... Every time I go out, I'm scared... Of what, I don't know, but my comfort and security is gone... I never feel safe any longer, which is very new to me still...

What's so strange about all this then?
That I don't want to go back. For some reason I am willing to try a little while longer...
Even if I have everything I could want almost next door... I don't feel like it.

Now that's strange!!